Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children received a tip in July from Dropbox about 88 videos depicting child pornography that had been posted to a Dropbox user’s account. (You can email Amy Dickinson send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. They wouldn’t even insult us by asking.ĭear Old-Fashioned: The question you are referring to (“Pondering Papa in the Pacific Northwest”) reflected two parents who disagreed about this. Our values do not allow for this, and our children know it. I hope you can approach this without panicking in order to give him latitude to talk about this aspect of his life.ĭear Amy: Count me with all of the people who don’t like your advice to allow unmarried adults to sleep together in your house. Your husband chose to remain silent rather than describe his feelings and impulses. To grossly generalize, I don’t think men see viewing porn as a betrayal of their partners, because for them it isn’t necessarily personal – it’s sexual. I strongly suspect that he loves and values you, and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. I need help to let this go, but I haven’t been able to.ĭear Devastated: The reason your husband kept this a secret is because he knew how you would react, and he didn’t want to cope with your emotions and feelings of betrayal. I asked how long he had been doing this, and he said for a few years. ![]() He said nothing for three days.įinally, I talked and was crying and told him how terribly hurt I was. I said I would talk to him when he knew the answer. I asked him why he was looking at it and he said he didn’t know. I was shocked at what he was watching, and extremely hurt. It felt like he was being unfaithful – sexually and mentally. I went to tell him I was home, and found him looking at porn on his computer. ![]() I have always thought we were “meant to be.” We have lots of mutual interests we laugh, we talk when there is a problem, and we don’t keep secrets.Ī few days ago, I came back quickly from an errand. I hope you will be able to relax, laugh and genuinely feel joyful during your wedding and reception.ĭear Amy: My husband and I have been married for a long time. This might be a nice symbolic gesture, where the first “official” act of your life together as a married couple would be to serve those people who have gathered to celebrate your marriage. ![]() My last suggestion might seem odd, but perhaps you and your new spouse should serve your guests, yourselves. This is a communal celebration meal, and for many people, helping to serve would be an honor. You could also accept their help – perhaps in shifts. It sounds as if you have a helpful and hands-on family and friend group. Your caterer might have recommendations, and if you receive a reasonable quote, perhaps your mother-in-law would help pay for this. I’m not sure how having help fits into the concerns about Covid, but overall, having even one extra pair of hands would be extremely useful.įurthermore, you could probably hire a helper for two hours for $50. ![]() Instead, I see a good idea with no clear way to execute it.ĭear Stressed: I agree with your future mother-in-law that it is a good idea to have someone on the other side of the buffet line, helping to serve and perhaps removing the serving dishes and putting out the cake afterward. If I thought my future mother-in-law was wrong, I would simply tell her. Our guest list is 25 people, with half of those being our immediate family.Ī few loved ones have volunteered to help with whatever we need, but I don’t want to assign anyone the task of feeding everyone else.
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